How close is too close? Boundaries for peer moderators

Something I keep coming back to with our volunteer moderators in the Patient Support Network: how close should we get to the members we support?

Closeness is part of what makes peer support work. But I've seen moderators get private messages late at night from members in real distress, feel they have to answer every one, and burn out within months. Some of those messages need a crisis line or a doctor, not a volunteer.

Since spring, our moderators answer in the open space where they can, keep a short list of services to point people to, and hand a conversation to a colleague when it's beyond them. Nobody is expected to reply after 22:00. It's early days, but two moderators who were close to quitting have stayed on. I'd be curious whether other health communities have written their version of this down, or whether it still lives in people's heads.